Obama Protects His Kids from the Media Storm

And the award goes to–drum roll, please–Barack Obama! 

 Michelle, we’ll talk about the Best Mom Award later, but FYI, you’re competing with Brangelina.

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After a candid family interview with Access Hollywood’s Maria Menounos, Barack Obama said that he didn’t think the media attention on his daughters was healthy and that his family wouldn’t be doing interviews of that sort in the future. Now, why would Mr. Obama say a thing like that?

It’s not like media stalks children of public figures. It’s not like the media would take pictures of his children without his permission. It’s not like the media’s obsession with him would trickle down to his children, at all. I mean geez, the media is way more respectful than that. Duh! The media just wants a few pictures and a few candid interviews, that’s all. They just want to ask if daddy wears boxers or briefs, that’s all. They just want to find out what daddy’s little secrets are, what daddy’s morning breath is like, and how daddy punishes little girls when they’ve been bad. They just want to know if daddy is “normal” that’s all, because more than 10% of Americans still think he was raised a Muslim. The media just wants to get to know the Obama children so that they can tell America why she should vote for him in November. So, please, just give the media as many pictures and the interviews as they’d like. Please. It’s for the good of all. (?)

Things to think about…

• According to someone (i.e. a narrator on Access Hollywood–maybe it was Maria, but I don’t know), Obama should allow the media more access to his children because children can be great assets to campaigns. 
• Sorry, I couldn’t think of a good bullet #2. I’m still thinking about how dumb bullet #1 is.

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Let me take a deep breath and woo-sah a little bit. This is how I think it happened…

In the storm that is the lifestyle of the Obama’s, the Obama’s just forgot that Access Hollywood was showing up that day. It was their daughter’s birthday and kids were just running all over the place–if you haven’t been around a kid on their birthday, you won’t get this. Any way, some media shows up to the occasion and–oh sh** it’s Access Hollywood! At this point, everything is moving real fast. In one corner there were make-up artists trying to make everyone pretty, and in the other corner there were technicians trying to set up label microphones on Michelle and Barack. Then, all of sudden, Sasha and Malia ran to their parents. Crap! The technicians started pinning microphones on the kids. Michelle and Barack looked at one another. It was the oh s** look, and rightfully so. Did they know that…

• the Access Hollywood interview would be a four-part AH mini-series?
• the syndication of the show would boast 30,000+ views on Youtube?
• every major news network would talk about the AH series?

Obama wins the Best Dad Award for thinking, What the hell we were thinking allowing the media to spotlight our kids like that?   He even said that they won’t be doing interviews like that in future. Obsessive media + young people (especially of parents who are public figures) is not a good mix. Just ask young Hollywood starlets. I don’t even have to name them. Malia and Sasha are under 11! If anyone thinks that obsessing (i.e. more media coverage) over Obama’s children is a good thing, then we should be afraid of them…